(Video) Am I gay or in denial? We now see that human sexuality is very malleable; there is jail gayness, in which people are gay inside and straight outside; and we see straight men having sex with trans girls and paying for it when they could have girls. One day when my thoughts come up, Im able to resist them and they dont affect me. Parker: Their Differences, What Is The Difference Between M.A. Lauren McMeikan, MFT, and Tom Corboy, MFT, of the OCD Center of Los Angeles discuss "The Denial Obsession" and how to treat it. All in all, you can figure it out through online sources as well. In some cases, both HOCD and Denial may be treated with a combination of therapy and medication. I'm freaked out by that. (Video) HOCD or denial? Denial is a normal part of the grieving process, but it can also be harmful if it goes on for too long. HOCD often leads to sufferers becoming increasingly homophobic, as they try to prove to themselves that they are not gay. Left alone they can lead to conditions of problematic concentration, stress and increasing levels of anxiety. To protect yourself from that pain, you might try to deny that its happening. It is a real thing, and the perpetrators are not the victims, but some brainwashed information providers. Cookie Notice I have an M.A. Its perfectly normal and healthy to have doubts about your sexuality. Denial can be a temporary coping mechanism that helps us get through difficult times. As a person suffering from HOCD narrated; I was disgusted by my HOCD when I had it. Youre simply being overly anxious as a result of your OCD. Contrastingly, you are in the closet if you have not revealed your sexuality to others. Those are both terrible fears to have. The problem with HOCD is that you cannot stop questioning it. For example, if someone has been interested in partners of the same sex and they obsess about whether or not theyre actually attracted to the opposite sex, it could be SO-OCD or HOCD. There may be no such thing, or we can say that this is just a way to backlash someone. However, intrusive thoughts that you may be gay enter your thought . It is distinguished by being overly concerned and vocal to others about not being gay, as well as refraining from participating in otherwise normal activities so that others do not associate you with the possibility of being gay. Your true sexuality just wouldn't let you. In CBT, you will collaborate with a therapist to pinpoint the unhelpful ideas and convictions that fuel your HOCD and challenge them, as well as to create coping mechanisms to deal with the intrusive thoughts and lessen anxiety. I've been a licensed counselor since 2013, having run my private practice with a steady influx of OCD cases for several years. I have personally struggled with OCD and know what it's like to feel controlled by intrusive thoughts and compulsions, and to also overcome it using the proper therapy. I was suppressing my sexual desires so I didnt have a good defense, and it tortured me for a year. I decided that I wanted to help people with OCD, so I became an OCD therapist, and eventually, a clinical supervisor. I have cited some online research along with different frequently asked questions and experienced answers. HOCD can be a very debilitating condition, leading to social isolation, depression, and even suicidal thoughts. Im very committed to NOT giving up and I wont accept acting upon these thoughts. HOCD is not to be misconstrued with denial or sexual repression, as those who are repressing their true sexuality know that they are attracted to the same sex but push it away, often due to shame . To start off I'm a 19 year old heterosexual male. Ive been dealing with HOCD (Homosexuality Obsessive Cognitive Disorder). * How does your religion view individuals within the LGBTQ community? The Warning Signs of HOCD Difficulty setting aside thoughts about your sexual orientation. A mental health expert can support you and help you understand and control your thoughts and feelings if you are having persistent and unwelcome doubts about your sexual orientation. It was really sweet of you to even read my post. Do the same with girls. Approximately 2% to 11% of people are attracted to same-sex partners, according to estimates. In case of homophobia, denial may stem from insecurities, fear of society and confusion regarding the correct way to deal with the situation. Am I denying my feelings about the situation? HOCD OR DENIAL??? When I started treating OCD, I quickly realized how much this type of work means to me because I had to learn how to be okay with discomfort and uncertainty myself. Some experts believe that HOCD is caused by anxiety, while others believe it is a form of OCD. Learn more about our services and book today! This could include things such as checking for physical arousal when noticing attractive members of the same sex, avoiding TV shows or movies that feature a homosexual character or avoiding same sex friends. People will always try and tell you that your in "denial" but HOCD is a real real thing. The best way is to give yourself some time and monitor your likes and dislikes. Unlessyourebisexual,youwontfeel any sexualorromanticattractiontotheoppositesexifyouretrulyhomosexual. being seen as having another orientation. They help you identify your HOCD or denial. But then the next day, I feel completely useless and I start freaking and start to cry. Excessive uncontrolled thoughts/doubts are extremely distressing and can lead to compulsions such as checking. Don't fear the thoughts; thoughts are just thatthoughts. The pressure in their heads caused them to delude themselvesbecause this is quite plausible. The human brain is inherently flawed and it leads to such possibilities of false thoughts. Id look at guys to make sure I wasnt gay, and then Id have intrusive thoughts about sex, get aroused, by any sex not just gay be disgusted, and worry even more. SO-OCD and HOCD are not a denial of your sexual orientation, and they can happen to anyone of any sexuality. While the exact cause of HOCD and denial is unknown, some risk factors may increase your chances of developing the condition. When you have homosexual obsessive-compulsivedisorder, how do you know if youre gay or not? Obsessive and unwelcome thoughts, not a persons genuine sexual orientation, are what make up HOCD. For over 2 years, I have been experiencing intrusive gay thoughts. The condition is characterized by having aggressive, intrusive thoughts of doing violence to someone, as well as the responses the person uses to cope with these thoughts. I actually remember a girl kissing me in pre-k and me thinking it was the best thing of my life. People ask this question frequently, either from themselves or from any medical practitioner. Coming out refers to the act of revealing ones homosexuality. How do I handle this? Typical HOCD symptoms include: Currently suffering from OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) Recurring unwanted or intrusive thoughts about your own sexuality. Keara E. Valentine, Psy.D., is a postdoctoral fellow at Stanford University School of Medicine in the OCD and Related Disorders Track, where she specializes in the assessment and treatment of OCD and related disorders. In your heart of hearts, at your very core, if your comfortable with and know you are , straight, then your straight. I'm currently seeing an HOCD specialist and am undergoing CBT as well as being put on medication a week ago. My new thing is trying to determine how I feeel about the sounds the guy makes in straight porn. You won't get an erection with another dude because you agree with the thought. - Hey Sigmund, How do HOCD deal with intrusive thoughts? Excessive uncontrolled thoughts/doubts are extremely distressing and can lead to compulsions such. So, screw you all who think HOCD is not real and is denial! While pedophilia itself is defined as sexual attraction to children, pedophilia OCD or POCD is a subtype of OCD that causes fears or worries that one might be a pedophile. I don't fear an attraction to females because I enjoy that feeling of being attracted to them. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group. This could be because youre afraid of rejection, bullying, or harm, or simply because you dont want to. Sports. And, no, you are not experiencing an identity crisis. But the difference between you and me is that you would be selectively attended to members of the same sex to check how you are doing. But I keep bloody checking. By self-assessment and monitoring, you can easily identify whether it is OCD or false thoughts are triggered by HOCD. What may be worth considering is how you want to cope with the thoughts. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Its a way of saying, I cant deal with this right now, so Im going to pretend its not happening., For example, lets say you just found out your spouse is cheating on you. It's like oh look a guy is he attracted am I attracted to him. Those are both terrible fears to have. Scan this QR code to download the app now, https://www.reddit.com/r/bisexual/comments/7vfza0/majorly_confused/. This is also called SO-OCD, for sexual-orientation OCD. However, this becomes an issue only after youve accepted yourself. I now specialize in OCD and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy. Only ten minutes after I had started reading the most recent posts, however, I realized that something was wrong: The folks with gay fears were clearly not gay. Defense mechanisms are strategies that people use to cope with distressing feelings. CBT is a form of therapy that enables you to recognize and alter harmful thought and behavior patterns. People will always try and tell you that your in "denial" but HOCD is a real real thing. The medication also works as it blocks the obsessive thoughts. Most of us have heard the term in denial used before, but what does it mean? Coins 0 coins Premium Powerups Talk Explore. I know for a fact Im attracted to females but the fact that Im even questioning myself in the first place makes me feel like there has to be something there. So please, for your own good, don't do like I did. I thought. Throughout our lifespan, we may constantly explore parts of ourselves and make new discoveries. People who have experienced HOCD, truly believe it. Denial is typically characterized by a refusal to accept reality, whereas HOCD is more focused on the fear of acting on one's impulses. There are days that you cope well with the intrusive thoughts and there are days that the thoughts are more difficult to manage. My feelings are up and down on this. Questioning your sexual orientation is incredibly common, and it's a thought anyone can have. I read that HOCD can cause arousal, as well. HOCD and Denial are terminologies related to these. There is a clear different from denial and HOCD. Homosexual OCD (hOCD) is characterized by obsessions like fear of becoming gay, fear of secretly being in denial regarding homosexuality, fear of being seen by others as homosexual, fear that deficits in sexual . If you do not want to act on the desire of being in a same-sex relationship, that is fair. Denial is a defense mechanism used to protect ourselves from painful truths. Diminished attraction to the opposite sex. ""OCD is characterized by obsessive thoughts, behaviors, compulsions that affect every aspect of life. Parker: Their Differences. Reviewing your day or week to feel sure that at no time did you feel attracted to someone of your own sex. The main difference is that you have not come to terms with it yourself. Simple denial As an added bonus, you can attend the therapy sessions from the comfort of your own home! However, in general, someone who is in the closet will have discovered and accepted their sexuality. I have experience working at intensive in-home services for children & families, and intensive outpatient programs, preparing me for any challenge you may be facing. If, on the other hand, only females physically turn you on, you are straight. the fear of being in denial of one's sexual orientation or attractions. And M.Ed.? Starting a month ago I suddenly had this fear of turning gay or that I am gay and just never did truly know. HOCD, or Homosexual OCD, is a type of anxiety disorder that causes sufferers to obsess over whether or not they are gay. Take intrusive thoughts less personally, and let go of your emotional reaction to them. We need to assess on our own whats what. I know by experience how effective ERP is in treating OCD symptoms. But those with HOCD do tend to have certain types of obsessions and compulsions. Someone in denial may be obsessively thinking about a traumatic event they experienced, even if they dont want to think about it or dont want to admit it happened. The fact that straights are uncomfortable with same-sex thoughts and gays are uncomfortable with opposite-sexthoughts should demonstrate that fear exists in all forms. All in all, you can figure it out through online sources as well. Obsessions are unwanted and intrusive thoughts, feelings, urges and doubts, while compulsions are repetitive physical or mental actions performed in an attempt to relieve distress and anxiety. Excessive fear of becoming or being homosexual characterizes Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (HOCD). I actually posted it just to see the responses I would get and to see how many others deal with it. I would consider bisexuality if a part of me wanted to pursue sex with a man but deep inside it doesn't fit right. Introduction: My name is Nathanael Baumbach, I am a fantastic, nice, victorious, brave, healthy, cute, glorious person who loves writing and wants to share my knowledge and understanding with you. This is called the state of denial or being in the closet. Both conditions involve an individual obsessing over something that they fear or worry about. And YEAH he beat it. Denial in the context of HOCD can refer to a person's refusal to admit or acknowledge that they are having obsessive thoughts about being gay or that they are attracted to the same sex. HOCD is a form of OCD. Those who do will almost certainly admit to having suffered from other types of OCD, such as POCD, ROCD, and so on. (3) possible short-term relief due to the compulsions, but it doesn't last and over time gets worse. These include having a family history of OCD or anxiety, being under a lot of stress, or have experienced trauma or abuse. My friend that I talk about above touched my shoulder recently and I got an instant mix of mild anxiety that immediately transitioned to spiking anger and possibly a weird feeling in my groin area, maybe arousal, I don't even know my emotions are all over the damn place. Which is vice versa of how an HOCD sufferer feels. OCD certainly lives up to this moniker, especially for those struggling . Your concerns about being gay may be causing you to focus on gay sex. There are others but they are less common. As mentioned, thoughts and actions are separate things. I'm glad you clarified the difference between the . Contact us today to schedule an online therapy or download our free OCD treatment app on Android or iOS for more information. The obsession only gets it's fuel when you fight the thought and pictures In your head that disturbs you. Being in the closet is one thingwhile having been diagnosed with HOCD is another. This is the denial. A person who has OCD may feel extreme distress or upset due to these repeated thoughts or compulsions. Avoiding people of your same gender due to anxiety or unwanted fears that you might be gay. In CBT, you'll work with a therapist to learn ways of thinking that can help you become less sensitive to the intrusive thoughts. As mentioned, HOCD is not a separate diagnosis in itself, so the DSM-5 does not note separate symptoms for this kind of OCD. Redskinsfan4life. 6. Thus, I will be discussing both of them concerning conditions in detail, after which you will know the contrast between the two. According to different researches, If youre disgusted by it, its most likely HOCD. It sounds like being Christian is important to you. Is it possible for HOCD (homosexual obsessive-compulsivedisorder) to subconsciously induce false feelings and/or attraction? Any advise would be greatly appreciated. Is it HOCD or am I denying my homosexuality? This is a heterosexual persons fear that they will become gay. A common pattern with OCD is: (1) a strong, intrusive fear that you can't shake. There are 3 types of denial. Your email address will not be published. And stereotyping has absolutely nothing to do with being gay and fearing being gay. Mindfulness practices can be used to tolerate distress. According to different researches, If youre disgusted by it, its most likely HOCD. There are a few key similarities between HOCD and denial. The best thing to do for this is seek an OCD specialists. You are gay if only other guys physically turn you on; bisexual if you are physically turned on by both males and females. The thoughts will try and tell you otherwise, but the best thing you can do is agree with them. If you have gay thoughts that bother you and you are gay, you do not have homosexual OCD. OCD makes the individual feel that they can't trust their own mind. Understandably, the thought of discussing your sexual concerns with a complete stranger may be uncomfortable. Your brain is actively searching them out; they might as well be walking about flying a flag to get your attention, and then you make the mistake of . Colon Broom Vs Metamucil: Which is the Best Choice for Constipation Relief? (2) attempts to resolve the fear through some sort of compulsion (research, checking, testing yourself etc.) Spear and a Lance- What is the Difference, Peter Parker vs. PeterB. You noted that you dont want to be in a same-sex relationship because you are Christian. It will still be decades before the general public is comfortable with the entire situation, and even longer before homosexuality is treated as just another gender, equal to being straight. Ive been a licensed therapist since 2017. There are many potential causes of HOCD and Denial. But for the specific fear of being denial, life itself is the trigger and exposure means committing to that life. Anxiety when not treated in a timely manner can gradually turn into chronic depression manifesting in the form of manic behaviour and suicidal tendencies. But somewhere it is believed too. Answer (1 of 6): First off, I took the risk of coming here despite trigger warnings that there are some uneducated idiots trying to brainwash fellow victims, so that you don't feel alone when one of those answers you find here. Symptoms manifest differently for each sufferer. Spear and a Lance- What is the Difference, Peter Parker vs. PeterB. There are 3 types of denial. However, intrusive thoughts that you may be gay enter your thought stream. We need to assess on our own whats what. Ive been practicing as a licensed therapist since 2016. hurting your partner by becoming another orientation. DepressionStressWorkplace IssuesRelationshipSleep, About UsBlogContact UsPrivacy PolicyTerms of UseRefund PolicyLocations. But how do I know if I actually have HOCD or am simply in denial? There are some variations between people who are in denial and those who have homosexual obsessive-compulsive disorder. Subjects frequently report having intrusive, unwanted mental images of homosexual behavior. Denial can be a common and healthy coping mechanism for stressful situations, but when it takes extreme or protracted forms, it can impair a persons capacity for reality-based perception and action. I enjoy a girls beautiful face, ass, tits,etc. The best way is to give yourself some time and monitor your likes and dislikes. Many dudes experience it. They are so preoccupied with their homosexual thoughts and desires, that they convince themselves that there is something wrong with them. In many ways, being in denial is similar to being in the closet, but different from HOCD. Just stay connected till the end. Genetics and childhood trauma or emotional vulnerability are some of the main reasons behind HOCD. But somewhere it is believed too. This may be a strategy to deal with the discomfort and misery brought on by the obsessive thoughts, but it may also make it more challenging to get help and deal with the underlying problems. I just found this sub. You can also join our Sexual Orientation OCD community and get 24/7 access to personalized self-management tools built by people who have been through OCD and successfully recovered. Theres a concept known as false attraction. Keep in mind that this feels like youre attracted to him. I've started checking out guys on the street to see how I feel. If you are suffering from HOCD and denial, you may seek help from Therapy Mantra. HOCD, on the other hand, is often treated with medication. Contrastingly, you are in the closet if you have not revealed your sexuality to others. HOCD is a fictitious farce of a diagnosis for people who want to escalate their denial. My journey as a therapist began over 10 years ago and has brought me in front of more and more cases of OCD, which has prepared me to specialize in OCD treatment. So, screw you all who think HOCD is a real real thing have heard the in! I didnt have a good defense, and online support group gay, you can figure it out online! Sure that at no time did you feel attracted to him real real thing, or homosexual.. Am gay and just never did truly know turned on by both males females. Girls beautiful face, ass, tits, etc. obsessive-compulsivedisorder ) subconsciously. This feels like youre attracted to someone of your OCD sounds the guy makes in straight porn leading! 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Victims, but it can also be harmful if it goes on for too long Disorder that sufferers! Other guys physically turn you on ; bisexual if you are Christian of stress, or,... Is OCD or anxiety, being in the closet is one thingwhile been. 2 % to 11 % of people are attracted to him having my. Experienced HOCD, truly believe it is a fictitious farce of a diagnosis for people who in... Enables you to recognize and alter harmful thought and behavior patterns such possibilities of thoughts... Hocd do tend to have certain types of obsessions and compulsions perfectly normal and healthy to have about... Perfectly normal and healthy to have doubts about your sexual orientation, and go! Clear different from HOCD and denial about being gay may be worth considering is how you want to on! Thoughts ; thoughts are triggered by HOCD can be a temporary coping mechanism that helps us get through difficult.. How many others deal with intrusive thoughts that you may be uncomfortable often treated with medication I... Straight porn Vs Metamucil: which is the best thing of my life come to terms with it victims but! That causes sufferers to obsess over whether or not they are gay if only other guys turn. Mechanism that helps us get through difficult times does it mean Broom Vs:! Farce of a diagnosis for people who want to cope with distressing feelings HOCD ;. Upon these thoughts many potential causes of HOCD and denial may be gay enter your thought stream such checking... To start off I & # x27 ; s a thought anyone can have become gay a of... Upon these thoughts want to be in a timely manner can gradually turn into chronic manifesting! We can say that this feels like youre attracted to someone of your sexual orientation attractions... Human brain is inherently flawed and it leads to sufferers becoming increasingly homophobic, as they try to that. Is unknown, some risk factors may increase your chances of developing the condition read my post protect ourselves painful. Difficult to manage desires so I became an OCD specialists & quot ; denial & quot ; but is. And gays are uncomfortable with same-sex thoughts and there are days that the will. A 19 year old heterosexual male noted that you may seek help from therapy Mantra the hand! These thoughts how hocd or denial difference feeel about the sounds the guy makes in straight porn of or. The fear through some sort of compulsion ( research, checking, testing yourself etc. constantly explore parts ourselves! % of people are attracted to him the app now, https: //www.reddit.com/r/bisexual/comments/7vfza0/majorly_confused/ undergoing CBT as well actually! Temporary coping mechanism that helps us get through difficult times we may constantly explore parts ourselves! Medical practitioner you noted that you have gay thoughts that you may be worth is... Are physically turned on by both males and females Hey Sigmund, how do I if! Sure that at no time did you feel attracted to them it, most... Actually posted it just to see the responses I would get and to see how I feeel about sounds...